31 October 2019

"We have to take you to theatre, Kelly"

The midwife informs Kelly, “We have to take you to theatre for an emergency Caesarian – you’re going to have a general anaesthetic.”   

"Dani, I'm scared!"

Kelly repeatedly shouts, “No, no, no!   Dani, I’m scared!” but Dani assures her that they know what they are doing, and she will be waiting for Kelly to return.   

"I haven't thought of a name yet"

Kelly is wheeled along the corridor, as she mutters, “I haven’t thought of a name yet – it doesn’t have a name!”

Eileen hears a bang, something like a gunshot . . .

At Penrhewl, Eileen hears a muffled bang as she walks into the kitchen, where Huwi’s birthday cake is on the table.   

. . . then there is a knock at the door

She is disturbed, and as she sits down there is a knock at the door.   

"Who's there?"

She anxiously asks who is there, and is relieved to find that it is Mark, with a parcel for her, that needs to be signed for.

"The door's never usually locked"

“Is everything OK?” he asks, “The door’s never usually locked,” 

"I'm trying to get into the habit of locking it"

and she gives the excuse that she is trying to get into the habit of locking it because Huwi will be walking soon, and the farm is a dangerous place for children.

"Huwi might have the same birthday as Kelly's baby"

He sees the birthday cake and remarks that Huwi might have the same birthday as Kelly’s baby;  “She’s being induced today.”   Eileen hopes that Kelly has a better time than she did.

"Jim's cousin is still ill"

He commiserates that Jim is not there, and she inform him that his cousin is still ill;  Mark points out that the weather must be better in New Zealand, 

"No thanks, Eileen, I'd better not"

and is offered a piece of cake, but he declines.   

She puts a cover on the cake

Eileen sits down again, alone in the farmhouse.   

Colin is demonstrating his artistic talents . . .

Outside the chip shop, Colin is drawing something on a large blackboard;   

. . . which are decried by Guto and Aaron . . .

Aaron comes round the corner with Guto, and demands what Colin is doing.   He explains that it is a surprise for Britt;  

. . . as being hardly impressive

“It’s a Zombie eating chips!” he says, but on seeing it, Aaron says that the graffiti over there is better than what he has produced.   

Guto will have a try

Guto suggests that he could do it;  “If you want a Zombie eating chips, you’ll get a Zombie eating chips!”   

"I just hope the customers turn up now"

Britt interrupts them to advise that the food is ready and the decorations are up;  she just hopes that people turn up now.

"Who wouldn't want to eat haddock in green batter?"

“Of course they will – who wouldn’t want to eat haddock in green batter, eh?” demands Colin.

"Yes, it's been a pleasant day, Jim"

Eileen is now on the phone to Jim;  “Yes, it’s been a pleasant day – quiet,” she tells him, 

"Huwi hasn't noticed anything out of the ordinary"

“I don’t think Huwi’s noticed anything out of the ordinary.   

"When will you be home, Jim?"

“Listen, Jim, when will you be home?   Oh, I see – yes, we’re all fine here – give everyone my regards, and I’ll talk to you again.”

"What do you think, Aaron?"

Britt and Colin, in their costumes, ask Aaron what he thinks;  he wonders why they have to be so embarrassing.   

"Would you like the honour of being our first customer?"

They see Mark passing by and invite him in;  Colin enquires, “Would you like the honour of being our first customer?   Bogeyman burger, Frankenstein fish with spooky chips?” 

"No – I'm not in the mood"

but Mark says he is not in the mood and walks out again.

Just something which Guto has knocked up

Guto hopes that his effort will be suitable, and displays his handiwork, 

"That's awesome, mate!"

which Aaron describes as, “Awesome!” but is told that it was only a quick job.   

"That's guaranteed to attract customers!"

Colin is sure that it is guaranteed to attract customers;  if he knew that Guto was this good, he could have painted the wall.

Britt informs him that he can be the first customer with a discount after doing such a good job.   “All we need to do now is to wait for the crowds,” announces Colin, 

Here comes the first batch of them

and right on cue, a gang of children arrive.

Eifion is going to see Izzy

Eifion is reading the paper in the farmhouse while he drinks his tea;  he tells Eileen that he is going to see Izzy, and wonders if Sioned will be coming over, 

"No, Sioned is watching films"

but is informed that she is watching films with DJ and Mathew.

"Jessie's probably left the country by now!"

“You’ll be fine – no-one’s heard from Jessie for a week – she’s probably left the country by now!” he assures her, “Take it easy, and put your feet up.   

"Phone if you need anything"

“Phone, if you need anything.”   After he has gone, she does not look as if she will be able to to relax, and notices that Eifion has polished off a piece of the cake.

Dani – and the teddy bear – wait anxiously

In the hospital, Dani is waiting anxiously by Kelly’s bed;  

The midwife brings in a cot

the door opens and the midwife wheels in a cot, containing the new-born baby.   “Everything’s all right – don’t worry,” she reassures Dani, “A happy and healthy little boy – and Kelly’s all right – she’s still in theatre at the moment and has not come round yet.   

"Perhaps you can keep this little one company"

“Perhaps you can keep this little one company.”

Dani takes the little boy in her arms . . .

With mixed feelings, Dani takes the baby, 

. . . and he seems very contented

and is told that she will be informed when Kelly comes out of theatre.

"I told you it was a stupid idea!"

At the end of the day, the anticipated rush of customers at the chippy has not materialised, and Britt moans, “I told you it was a stupid idea – and like all your stupid ideas they’re always a disaster!”   Colin explains to Aaron that the night did not go quite as well as they expected. 

“We made a loss, didn’t we?” snarls Britt, “After spending so much money on the costumes and decorations – and now we have to throw away a load of green better!   

"If this carries on, we'll have to close the chippy for good!"

“If this carries on, we’ll have to close the chippy for good!”   Colin does not expect things to get that bad, but it is pointed out that they are losing customers every week.

“I’m changing out of this stupid costume!” she growls, 

An idea comes into Colin's mind

as Colin idly leafs through the pages of a magazine, discovering an article about Banksy, which seems to give him an idea.

Kelly still has not come round

Kelly is still unconscious, and Dani stands nearby with the baby;  

"You haven't got a penny to your name . . ."

she whispers to him, “You’ve got a lovely hat – you haven’t got a penny to your name – 

". . . but you've got a lovely hat"

“but you’ve got a lovely hat.”

"Is everything OK?"

Kelly begins to stir, and mumbles, “Is everything OK?” 

"Someone wants to say hello to Mami"

and Dani informs her that someone wants to say hello to Mami.   

"Oh my gosh!   I've made a baby!"

Kelly sobs, “Oh my gosh!   I’ve made a baby!”   

"And he's beautiful"

Dani confirms that he is beautiful.

"I'm Kelly – you can call me Mam if you want"

“Hello, you – I’m Kelly – you can call me Mam if you want,” says Kelly, “There were complications and he was stressed,” 

"Everything is fine and he is perfect"

but Dani assures her that everything is fine, and her baby is perfect.   

"He's gorgeous!"

Kelly is in floods of tears, saying that he is gorgeous.

The cake is definitely smaller than the last time we saw it

Later, Eileen comes into the farmhouse kitchen to find the cake is out of its box , and most has been eaten, 

Eileen looks cautiously around . . .

and as she cautiously looks round, 

. . . and sees the fridge door open

she notices that the fridge door is open.   She is very frightened, 

She checks that the door is locked . . .

and checks that the locks on the door are secure, then immediately makes a phone call;  

. . . and calls Eifion to come home

“Eifion, come home – I think someone’s been in the house!”

Colin has been to fetch Guto 

Colin returns to the chippy flat with Guto, announcing to Britt that he has had a brainwave;  

"We'll have to turn people away!"

“We’re going to have so many customers, we’ll have to turn people away!”   

Colin points out the magazine illustration

He finds the page in the magazine and displays it.

"Have you been sniffing the pickling vinegar?"

“Colin, have you been sniffing the pickling vinegar?” demands Britt, “How is a sports car going to save the chip shop?”   He explains that it is not the car, but behind it, on the wall – the graffiti.

Both Aaron and his mother are completely lost, and as thunder sounds outside, 

"Remember that Banksy graffiti in Port Talbot?"

Colin elaborates, “Do you remember that graffiti Banksy did on the wall of the garage in Port Talbot – it was on the national news – in the papers – wall to wall coverage.   

"What if he painted on the chip shop's wall in Cwmderi?"

“What if Banksy bypassed Swansea and painted graffiti on the chip shop’s wall in Cwmderi?”   

Aaron does not look convinced

Neither Britt nor Aaron seem to be very impressed.

Anita and Siôn have walked from the car in the pouring rain

As they arrive at the hospital, Anita complains to Siôn that they passed at least two parking spaces;  “We’ve walked miles – look, we’re soaking!” she grumbles.

They enter Kelly's room

Suddenly they hear a familiar voice, and rush in to see Kelly;  

"I've just had a baby in here, like!"

“I’ve just had a baby in here, like,” she says, and laughs to see that they are soaking wet.   

"I'm sorry I wasn't here, Kelly"

Anita is sorry that she was not here for Kelly, and wants to give her a cwtch, but Kelly points out she has just had a Caesarian;  

"Dani has been a total star!"

“And Dani has been a total star.   

"I feel like I've had a fight with the Kung Fu champion!"

“I feel like I’ve had a fight with the national Kung Fu champion – after drinking a bottle of vodka.”

Anita carefully kisses her

Anita kisses her, and Dani says there is someone else here who needs a cwtch;  “Do you want to meet your grandson, Mam-gu?” asks Kelly.

"Look at him, Siôn – he's a little angel"

“Look at him, Siôn – he’s a little angel,” croons Anita, 

Kelly is very proud

and Kelly looks very proud.

"Hundreds of people turning up!"

Colin has great aspirations;  “I can see it now – dozens, if not hundreds – of people turning up here to see the graffiti!   TV cameras, reporters – and every one of them will want something to eat after travelling so far!   And what better than fish and chips – from the chippy that Banksy himself chose to paint?”

Britt betrays some scepticism

Britt sighs, “OK, Col, even if this plan works, what does Guto have to do with it?”

"Guto here is our perfect Banksy!"

He reminds her that she saw the picture of the Zombie;  “Guto here is our perfect Banksy!” and Guto himself thinks that it could be a bit of fun.   
Britt however is not sure, pointing out that they could get into a lot of trouble.   “What – for painting our own wall?” demands Colin, and she alleges that people have been fined doing things like that.   

"How about copyright, Col?"

Aaron raises the subject of copyright, but Colin has thought about that;  

"We don't have to say it's definitely a Banksy!"

“We don’t have to say that it’s definitely a Banksy, do we?   His murals are always hush-hush, aren’t they?   He doesn’t say anything to anyone – just turns up in the middle of the night and starts doodling.   We’ll let everyone reach their own conclusion.”

They are still unconvinced

His audience do not seem to be any more convinced, so he says that they will just have to forget the idea;  

"You said we have to do something drastic!"

“But you said yourself, Britt, that we have to think of something drastic to save Sosban Chips!”   

"All right, Col"

Britt eventually agrees, but they still look somewhat doubtful.

"Someone has been in the house, Eifion!"

Eifion has rushed back to Penrhewl, and is told that someone has been in the house;  

"I would never leave the fridge door open"

“The fridge was open – I would never leave it open – and the cake was out, too.   I heard something as well – and someone has taken a piece of cake!”   

"You've been on edge all week, Eileen"

Eifion says that he had a piece of cake before he went out, and is concerned that Eileen has been on edge all week.   “You think I’m seeing ghosts now, do you?” Eileen asks, 

"Stress can play tricks on the mind"

and he explains that stress can play tricks on the mind.   He emphasises that the door was locked and the windows are secure, so concludes that no-one has been in there.   

"I think I'm paranoid"

She thinks that she may be paranoid.

“What you need is a good night’s sleep,” he advises, and she apologises for spoiling his night;  

"That film was boring, anyway"

he says that the film was boring, anyway.

Siôn is celebrating in style

Siôn has produced a bottle of champagne, but Kelly will not join them as she is still feeling, “A bit spaced out!” and Dani will only have a small one, as she is driving.   

Anita seems eager to get rid of Dani

Anita is sure that Dani will want to go home after such a long day.

"Thanks for all your help, Dani"

Kelly thanks Dani for all her help, and will see her when she gets home.   In answer to Siôn’s query as to whether there is a name yet, 
Kelly says she had been hoping for another four weeks to decide. 

"Teifi, Gwydderig, Teilo, Briog or Myrddin"

Of course, he starts suggesting historically significant names, such as, “Teifi, Gwydderig, Teilo, Briog, or Myrddin.”

"I'm not going to call the poor kid Gydd-whatever!"

Kelly sighs, “No offence, Siôn, but I’m not going to call the poor kid Gydd-whatever, or Briog – not happening!”   

"There's no need to rush into these things"

Anita maintains there is no need to rush into these things.   “But when I have decided, you’ll be the first to know,” she promises.

Eileen is on her way to bed . . .

In the farmhouse, Eileen is preparing to go to bed;  we see her through the kitchen window.   

. . . and is about to turn out the light

She turns off the light and goes upstairs, but outside we hear heavy footsteps, 

Someone is definitely out there

and can see a shadow falling on the window.