 |
| Jaclyn does some running repairs |
Despite Tesni’s dress being brand new, her mother finds one of the straps is loose, so resecures it; Brenda comments that dresses are so flimsy today. Tesni receives a text and hurries upstairs,
 |
| Guto comes downstairs . . . |
just as Guto comes down
 |
| . . . and announces he is not going tonight |
and announces, “Actually, I’m not feeling too well, so I don’t think I’ll go tonight!”
 |
| "It's just nerves" |
Jaclyn dismisses this as merely nerves, and assures him he will be fine once he is there;
 |
| Brenda disagrees with her |
as usual her mother-in-law disagrees with her.
 |
| "You'll only regret it if you don't go" |
“You’ll only regret it if you don’t go,” Jaclyn tells him.
“You should feel sorry for him,” Brenda informs her.
 |
| These Cassandra Auburn novels are particularly riveting |
At Bryntirion, Dai is enjoying his breakfast while Diane is engrossed in Cassandra Auburn’s book, and it appears that she has nearly reached the end.
 |
| Dai has to interrupt his breakfast to answer the door |
There is a repeated knocking at the door, but she is oblivious, so Dai goes to find out who it is.
 |
| "Her body is here – I'm not sure if she is!" |
Kath asks if Diane is there, and he replies, “Her body is here – mind you, I’m not sure if she is!” Kath asks if Cassandra Auburn’s new books have arrived; and Dai exclaims, “You’re not into that rubbish as well, are you?”
 |
| The new books are not due until tomorrow |
It is a cause of great consternation to Kath that they are not due until tomorrow, and she is anxious to borrow the book which Diane is reading.
 |
| "She's got a new character now – René" |
“She’s got a new character now – René – a Frenchman – he’s just taken Rosemary on the yacht,” Diane informs her, but Kath does not want to hear any more, for fear that it will spoil the story.
“What is it about women and these Frenchies?” Dai demands, and Diane replies that he would not understand, advising Kath that Gwyneth has a spare copy, unless someone has borrowed it,
 |
| "Right, I'll go and see Gwyneth" |
and will see her at the Gin Club tonight.
 |
| "The Desperate Housewives of Cwmderi!" |
Dai rages, “René, Gin Club – the Desperate Housewives of Cwmderi be damned!” and Diane appears to have found another salacious passage.
 |
| Guto checks that a condom is ready for use |
In Guto’s bedroom, he ensures that there is a condom in the bedside cabinet,
 |
| "Wow – you've tidied up!" |
but then Tesni bursts in, looking for the charger for her phone, and is absolutely astonished that he has tidied his bedroom. He is very quiet, and she suspects that something is the matter; “You don’t have to worry about tonight,” she says,
 |
| "It's none of your business" |
but he maintains it is none of her business.
 |
| "I've been there, remember" |
“I’ve been there, remember – it’s hard for girls as well, you know,” she continues,
 |
| "I don't want to talk about it" |
but he does not want to talk about it.
 |
| Gwern is decorating cakes |
Under the supervision of Cassie, Gwern is applying icing to the top of some cakes,
 |
| "He's doing a great job, Mam" |
and his mother is informed that he is doing a great job.
 |
| Gwyneth pretends to be doing the accounts . . . |
She says that she is looking forward to trying one when she has finished doing the accounts on the laptop.
 |
| . . . and Cassie offers her help |
Cassie offers to help, as she did all the hotel’s accounts, but Gwyneth declines her offer;
 |
| In fact, she is reviewing the latest book |
what she is actually doing is writing a review of another of Cassandra Auburn’s books, ‘A Rendezvous on the Riviera’, and is reporting, “I couldn’t put it down.”
 |
| "Do you have a copy of 'that book'?" |
Then Gwyneth puts down the laptop answers the door; it is Kath, wondering, “Do you have a copy of ‘that book’ – as Diane has not finished hers yet.” Gwyneth finds this rather awkward, as Cassie is listening, and asserts that it is very difficult book to read.
 |
| Gwyneth wants to get rid of Kath as quickly as possible |
As soon as Kath has been given the book, she leaves.
 |
| "I didn't realise that Kath was such an avid reader" |
Cassie did not realise that Kath Jones was such an avid reader, and cannot wait to try one of those cakes; Gwyneth surreptitiously gets back to her review.
 |
| New shoes have just been delivered to Tesni |
Tesni has just received another delivery, and her mother remarks that she did not need new shoes as well; “I had some of Uncle Dyl’s money left, so why not?” is the reply.
 |
| "I'm not happy about Dylan giving her all that money!" |
Gerwyn is not happy about Dylan giving her all that money, but Jaclyn tells him to stop going on about it. “If he can throw money around like that, why is he still squatting with us?” he grumbles, but Jaclyn likes having him here, stressing it is only temporary.
 |
| "Talking of squatting, your mother's still here!" |
“And talking about squatting, your mother’s still here!” she goes on,
 |
| Brenda is eavesdropping on their conversation |
just as Brenda has come downstairs; she listens as Jaclyn continues,
 |
| "I was expecting her to pitch in with the housework" |
“Now she is living here, I was expecting her to pitch in with the housework.”
 |
| "Mam's not one for housework – you know that" |
Gerwyn snorts that, as she knows, his mother is not one for housework, and Jaclyn points out that they do not have much room to spare.”
Brenda, looking rather troubled, quietly makes her way back upstairs, as Gerwyn protests, “But it’s Mam – I can’t just throw her out,”
 |
| "A little help from 'Lady Brenda' would go a long way!" |
and is told that a little help from ‘Lady Brenda’ would go a long way.
 |
| "I almost put my foot in it there" |
In the Deri, Kath tells Diane that she almost put her foot in it, and Diane does not know why Cassie wants to hide it; “If I could write like that, I’d want to tell everyone – well, apart from Dai!” Kath suggests that he might learn something.
 |
| "You've obviously enjoyed reading the books" |
Megan has been listening with interest to their conversation, and can see they have obviously enjoyed reading the books;
 |
| "Why don't we combine the Gin Club with a Book Club?" |
she proposes, “Why don’t we combine the Gin Club with a Book Club?”
 |
| "They're not the sort of books you would enjoy, Megan" |
Diane doubts that they are the type of books Megan would enjoy, but she insists that she reads a wide variety of literature.
Kath emphasises that these are quite ‘juicy’, but Megan recalls, “One or two winners at the Eisteddfod have been ‘juicy’ too.”
 |
| "The 'Arch-whatyacallit' would have a heart attack!" |
Kath predicts that the ‘Arch-whatyacallit’ would have a heart attack.
 |
| "Started on the gin already, have you?" |
Cassie comes in, and is surprised to see that the ladies have started on the gin already.
 |
| Tesni and Luned are indulging in school gossip |
Tesni and Luned are exchanging school gossip, and Mathew says the prom sounds like fun to him;
 |
| "You don't want to go to a school prom, Mathew" |
“You don’t want to go to the school prom,” says Tesni, but he points out that she will be there,
 |
| He gives her a kiss |
and gives her a kiss.
 |
| Brenda volunteers to do some work – it has never happened before! |
When Jaclyn comes downstairs with a basket of washing to be ironed, she is absolutely astounded when Brenda volunteers to do it, as she can see that Jaclyn is very busy.
 |
| "Gin is so passé now, isn't it?" |
She says she will not be going to the Gin Club tonight, as she does not fancy it; “Gin is so passé now, isn’t it? Everyone’s drinking it now. I’d rather stay here and help out.”
 |
| Brenda holds the iron as if it is something distasteful |
When she is handed the iron, she does not look particularly happy.
 |
| Megan finds it difficult to describe this gin |
At the Gin Club, they are remarking on one of the different gins they are tasting; Megan does not know how to describe it,
 |
| "Cassie is good with words" |
and Kath suggest they should ask Cassie, as she is so good with words.
 |
| "The smell of perfume on a sunny summer's evening" |
Cassie describes it as, “The smell of perfume on a sunny summer’s evening.”
Diane remarks that she is very good with words,
 |
| Gwyneth does not like the way the conversation is going |
and anticipating trouble ahead, Gwyneth suggests they try the Spiced Fig and Plum Gin, but Megan does not like figs.
 |
| "It may well be an aphrodisiac!" |
Diane thinks that it may be an aphrodisiac, but then things are interrupted by Dai coming into the pub,
 |
| "I see you've brought your fan club!" |
complaining, “Nefi wen! Do we need a right of way to get to the bar, or what?”
He looks at Cassie, and continues, “I see you’ve brought your fan club –
 |
| "Since Diane started reading your books, I can't get any sense out of her!" |
“since Diane started reading your books, I haven’t been able to get any sense out of her! Don’t write any more, or Diane will never leave the house! A pint, please, Dan!”
 |
| "Where can I get my hands on one of these books?" |
Megan enquires, “Cassie, where can I get my hands on one of the books they’re talking about?”
 |
| "Traitor!" |
Cassie snarls that Gwyneth is a traitor
 |
| "Cassie – come back!" |
and storms out of the Deri.
 |
| The two girls do indeed look very attractive |
Gerwyn tells them to hurry up, if they do not want to be late for the prom, and Tesni appears, in a lovely red off the shoulder dress, Luned in a blue one, and they are described by Jaclyn as looking like a picture.
 |
| "You'll get a lot of attention tonight!" |
When Tesni asks Mathew what he thinks, he predicts that she will get a lot of attention tonight, but she insists she only wants attention from him.
 |
| "Grandad would have loved to see you" |
Guto is also looking very smart, and his mother tells him, “Grandad would have loved to see you.”
 |
| They leave for the prom |
The three of them leave for the prom.
 |
| "I didn't mean for it to come out!" |
Gwyneth returns home to number 9, where Cassie is looking very stern; “I’m so sorry – I didn’t mean for it to come out!” she whines.
 |
| "I can never trust you again!" |
Cassie reminds her that she was sworn to secrecy, and that she can never be trusted again.
 |
| "I don't see what the problem is" |
“I don’t see what the problem is,” Gwyneth begins, but is emphatically told that Cassie has a right to privacy. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of,” says Gwyneth.
 |
| "I wanted to keep it to myself" |
“I wanted to keep it to myself,” Cassie stresses, but Gwyneth replies if that if she could write novels like that, she would want to tell everyone. “We’re not all the same –
 |
| "We're not talking about literary masterpieces" |
“and we’re not talking about literary masterpieces,” says Cassie; Gwyneth considers that they are far more interesting.
Cassie’s opinion is, “They’re not to everyone’s taste, especially in a place like Cwmderi.”
 |
| "Everyone has written excellent reviews" |
Gwyneth wants to know why, in that case, everyone has written such excellent reviews,
 |
| Here is the latest one, from Gwyneth herself |
and Cassie reads the latest one, “I couldn’t put it down. Buy it – you won’t regret it,” and deduces that Gwyneth wrote it.
 |
| "They're all local girls" |
Gwyneth points out, “Look, there are more reviews here, all giving four stars, and I know some of the writers – they’re all local girls.”
 |
| "The girls are desperate to know how you started writing" |
Then there is a knock at the door, and it is Diane, who begs Cassie to come back to the Deri; “You can’t walk out on us like that – the girls are desperate to know how you started writing.
 |
| "We want the author to sign our copies!" |
“Go and find some Biros, because we want the author to sign our copies.” Cassie glowers at Gwyneth.
 |
| "We're lucky to have such lovely children" |
Gerwyn remarks to Jaclyn that the twins were so excited; “We’re lucky to have such lovely children, aren’t we?” she says, and he maintains that it proves they have raised them well. Then she recalls, “Remember when they were born, and you went as white as a sheet – the nurse had to force you to sit down!”
 |
| "No, I've never been good with blood!" |
He regrets that he has never been good with blood; “And seeing those two come out – eurgh!”
 |
| Brenda makes a startling announcement |
It appears that Brenda has now finished the ironing, and informs them that she is taking them to the Deri for dinner.
 |
| "I'd prefer to put my feet up here" |
Gerwyn would rather put his feet up, now that there is room on the sofa, but his mother insists that she wants to treat them.
 |
| "We don't want them to go behind some shed, do we?" |
“And we don’t want to be here if Guto comes home early with Luned – we don’t want them to go behind some shed, do we?” she adds.
 |
| Cassie has explained her route to authorship |
Tempted back to the Deri, Cassie has been explaining to all the ladies, “And that’s how I started – writing short stories in magazines.”
Diane wonders how she makes up all these stories, assuming she must have a good imagination.
 |
| "I ran a hotel in Blackpool!" |
“Well, I ran a hotel in Blackpool,” is the reply, and Kath is aware that is where they all go for their dirty weekends. “I wouldn’t like to imagine what went on in those rooms – and I didn’t have to – I heard them half the time!” Cassie informs them.
 |
| "That's not a subject for literature, is it?" |
Megan does not seem to think that is a subject for literature, but Cassie would not describe it as a literature; Diane maintains that writing a good story requires skill, and that she loves the new hero, René.
“Well, as it happens, I knew him, and our adventures on the Côte d’Azur . . .” Cassie tells them. Megan has come to the conclusion that they are romantic novels,
 |
| "No, they're erotic fiction!" |
but Kath would rather describe them as erotic fiction, and Diane says they are fantastic.
 |
| "I didn't feel like coming to the Gin Club tonight" |
At the bar, Kath sees Brenda, who says she did not feel like coming to the Gin Club tonight,
 |
| "A pint for you, is it, Ger?" |
and gets out some money to pay for drinks, which Gerwyn finds very out of character.
 |
| "They were complaining about me 'squatting'!" |
Brenda confides to Kath that it is a case of having to; “If you must know, I heard them talking about me earlier. They were complaining the house is full, and that I’m squatting there.”
 |
| Kath is outraged to hear this |
Kath is outraged that is what they call looking after their mother.
 |
| "I have to behave myself now" |
Brenda continues, “I have to behave myself now – I don’t want to be kicked out. You didn’t hear them –
 |
| "Jac can twist Ger round her little finger!" |
“Jac can twist Ger round her little finger if she wants to – she’d put me in a care home in the blink of an eye.” Kath is quite horrified to hear this.
 |
| "Do you think anyone saw us leave?" |
Guto and Luned arrive back from the prom, and find that number 10 is empty; “Do you think that anyone saw us leave?” he asks,
 |
| "They were all too busy getting drunk" |
but she says they were all too busy getting drunk, and in any case, it does not matter.
 |
| A rather impulsive kiss |
He impulsively kisses her, then hesitantly asks, “Do you want to go upstairs?
 |
| "Are you sure?" |
“Are you sure?” and without a further word,
 |
| Off they go, up the stairs |
leads her up the stairs.
 |
| "We were a few years younger back then" |
Diane is sharing details of her holiday romances, but points out that they were a few years younger back then; Cassie suggests that she will keep that for her next novel.
 |
| Gwyneth appears to have noticed something |
As Gwyneth brings another round of drinks, Diane finds that her book is missing;
 |
| Megan finds the book 'very readable' |
when they look round the corner, they find that Megan is getting into the book, and describes it as very readable.
 |
| "Tough – join the queue!" |
Diane snatches the book, and Megan complains, “I’d just reached a very interesting part,” but is told to join the queue.
 |
| Gerwyn ssupects that something is wrong with his mother |
Jaclyn and Gerwyn are about to buy another drink when they are told by Brenda to put their money away, and she will pay for a bottle; “The nicest wine you’ve got,” she tells Dan, the barman.
 |
| "She must have had a knock on the head!" |
Jaclyn suspects that she has had a knock on the head, as this is the first time she has been seen to be generous.
 |
| "You should be ashamed of yourselves!" |
Then Kath comes over to reprimand them, “You should be ashamed of yourselves, treating your mother like that – thinking of throwing her out! Who raised you to be like that? Don’t look all innocent at me – I know exactly what’s going on.
 |
| "Accusing her of squatting!" |
“‘Ooh, there isn’t enough room in the house – she’s squatting’.
 |
| "You're very upset, aren't you, Brend?" |
She heard you, and she is very upset, aren’t you, Brend?”
Jaclyn protests that they were just saying the house is full with her brother there,
 |
| "We're not going to throw you out!" |
and Gerwyn assures his mother that they are not going to throw her out; they would never do a thing like that.
Kath makes it clear that she will be watching them from now on,
 |
| "Make that a cheap bottle of house wine" |
and Brenda changes her order to a cheaper bottle of house wine instead.
 |
| Guto does not look happy with his 'performance' . . . |
In Guto’s bedroom, the intimate moment does not seem to gone as planned,
 |
| . . . as they sit on the bed |
and as they both sit on the bed, Luned thinks that she had better go.
 |
| "Perhaps next time, just be yourself" |
“It was only the first time – perhaps next time, just be yourself,” she encourages Guto. However, he looks totally humiliated,
 |
| She give him a quick kiss . . . |
but she gives him a quick kiss
 |
| . . . and then leaves . . . |
and leaves the room;
 |
| . . . and Guto feels a total failure |
he feels a total failure.
